Yummy

I wanted to post about my latest food journey because it's been so amazingly delicious!!!

Of course my brilliant mom got the idea to do whole 30 and told me about it. And then bought me the books, and I was dragging my feet about doing it with her. Actually she was dragging me along kicking and screaming as usual because I didn't want to give up my gluten free donuts!  Yes, that's a real thing, and they're delicious.

The whole idea of this whole 30 is sugar free, dairy free, grain free. Which I have known for awhile that I need to try. But darn it I love coffee with creamy half and half and a bowl of lucky charms every day, I mean, on occasion. Oh and did I mention no alcohol either. 

So now I can enjoy some kumquats and bean sprouts and learn to stop eating my feelings!! Sounds like fun right???  

The one saving grace of this program was the cooking is fun. Jeremy and I LOVE to cook. And the  recipes are actually interesting, different, and pretty simple, and as an added bonus, they taste good!!  All except the BBQ ribs that went horribly wrong somewhere along the way and ended up tasting like baby vomit. Everything else has been grand!  I am going to post a few of the ones we have tried because who doesn't love staring at other people's food?! Right?!

Many different forms of coffee with dairy free milk.  This one was an almond milk creamer, no sugar, not awesome, but I gotta start somewhere...  

Cobb salad with homemade ranch dressing.

Watermelon salad...I was nervous to try it but its amazing. Lime juice, red onion, cilantro, salt, pepper...yum! 

Grilled pork chops, dairy free mashed potatoes--I had never made mashers without a stick of butter and a ton of milk!! SO my portions are a bit over zealous on the potatoes but give me a break I'm living off of celery and tears these days!! Just kidding, not really.  

 Coconut milk creamer this time, getting closer.  I like adding spices like nutmeg and cinnamon and full fat coconut cream isn't too shabby in the morning latte either.  Ignore the piles of laundry in the background this is real life people!

Sweet potato stacks for breakfast with bacon and poached eggs and a fruit salad the kids made.  Loved the fruit but sweet potatoes instead of toast didn't quite cut it for me.

Leftover pork chops sliced up to make lettuce wraps the next day. Yum












Ellie was begging me to make sweet potato soup for breakfast.  When we added blueberries and cinnamon it was surprisingly tasty.













Greek Salad--total yum!  Ellie and I could have polished off the whole bowl!

Diagnosis

I have been trying really hard to put the past year and all the health drama behind me but it just keeps nipping at my heels. I am coming up on a year of when the chronic migraines started and I guess I feel the need to process the hell I went through so I can see it for what it is and not be afraid the other shoe is going to drop at any moment. My blog is therapeutic for me in that way, a dumping ground of my thoughts, so here goes, don't judge my purging, join in, it's grand. 

January 21st I got a migraine unlike any I had ever had before. Jeremy was at work of course. And my parents happened to be at our house for the day. The migraine started with an aura like it usually does. An aura is a change in my vision that looks like an arc or blurriness. The pain usually starts about 30 mins after the migraine. But this time within 5 minutes I was slammed with the most intense pain behind my right eye. It brought me to my knees and I immediately went to the bathroom and started retching.  My parents were afraid to leave me so they stayed. I tried a full dose of excedrine migraine which I have never taken that much usually just a half. But the medicine didn't even touch the pain. My dad went and got and got me my new migraine prescription immitrex at the pharmacy. I took it when the pharmacist said and being the drug sensitive fool that I am, I had an immediate reaction to it.  At this point I had tunnel vision, lost all side  vision, vertigo, dizziness, falling to one side, black spots when I stood, numbness in my hands and feet, and extreme nausea, and extreme anxiety brought on by the drug. So I called my doc and went in. They immediately sent me to the emergency room where they did a migraine cocktail and an MRI of my brain.  I had a reaction to the cocktail of drugs so they gave me some other drug that knocked me out. But the migraine never broke...it was another 23 days of the same symptoms before I started to feel some lessening of symptoms. 

So now nearly a year later I have found some possible answers and gotten an entire education in chronic migraines and such.  I have seen over 35 specialists, had too many tests to count, had hundreds of vials of blood drawn, too many scans to count and I largely have remained a mystery to the medical community. 

Until right before Christmas I had an appointment with a doctor I had been waiting 6 months to see. Dr Jill Schofield. I finally found someone who knew what was going on and WHY it was happening. 

Most doctors I have seen have had limited knowledge of what it is and have treated me with many drugs that have not worked. Since the heart procedure in June I have been on a combination of 5 medications. She could explain why those 5 drugs were holding some symptoms at bay but not treating the underlying cause.  She also could explain why I was having break through symptoms and so on. 

She diagnosed me with: 

Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome -- chronic 

Antiphospolipid protein syndrome --an autoimmune disease that's life long

Joint hyper-mobility syndrome -- chronic 

And she gave me hope that with the right treatment plan, a very specific diet, and a very rigid exercise plan I can get to a place where I can function and have more good days than bad. 

Ps it sounds lovely but it's been super hard and changing anything. Even just a little change in my diet or meds can aggravate symptoms and it's back to the dark ages of feeling like a

Zombie. 

Life goes on...

It is a strange reality to be faced with a chronic illness diagnosis.
But here is what I have decided.
On days where I am able, I am going to keep on living.
So yes I will go camping, hiking, play with my kids, sell our house, build a new one, and take advantage of every second I can because there are too many days where I can't get out of bed.
It may mean that I have to take a 2 hour nap after the hike, or I may have to pace myself with activities and rest a whole lot more but it's worth it.
I had the PFO heart closure procedure done a few weeks ago. Everything went so well. And recovery has been better than I thought. My heart rate which was hanging out in the low 50's is now up in the 70's.  The docs said to give it 6 weeks to totally heal and then 6 months to be totally covered with scar tissue and essentially seal the hole. The only down side has been having to take plavix and aspirin so I look like a bruised banana. I tried to go off the headache preventative medication and started having the intense nonstop migraines again. So I went back on it for now.
I am waiting to hear back from my headache specialist because they found cysts all down my spinal column. He thinks that my spinal fluid is leaking into those cysts causing the pressure on the spinal fluid to be low thus causing my brain to sag into my spinal column. There is a procedure called a blood patch that is pretty painful but could fix the leak. I'm waiting to see when that gets scheduled. This could be a big part of the migraines...I've said that before right?
As always there is no easy answer for any of this.  So I'm taking it a day at a time. A dear friend of mine gave me such  an encouraging gift recently.  It said "God is within her she shall not be moved."  The idea being God is in our midst in the middle of whatever circumstance.  He is not some
vague  onlooker, but instead there enduring it with us. In the midst of debilitating pain he is there, in all our joy, he is there caring for us, comforting us. Despite the pain of this world He has us in his grasp. I found comfort in being reminded of that. And while these circumstances have threatened to make me crumble I have not been crushed.
Let's be honest, Most days I could use a major attitude adjustment. I am so thankful for my husband who jokes and laughs and makes things lighthearted even when it's terrible. He has been a constant support and partner through all of this. Never giving up on me and never letting me give up either.  He has been steadfast in caring for me and our children. He has been patient beyond belief. While all of this has been so taxing on our whole family I have found that it hasn't driven a wedge where there could easily be one. We have weathered our fair share of storms and this is just one more that we will make it through together one step at a time.
So here's to living, and camping, and playing, and not taking sweet moments forgranted.

Life goes on...

It is a strange reality to be faced with a chronic illness diagnosis.
But here is what I have decided.
On days where I am able, I am going to keep on living.
So yes I will go camping, hiking, play with my kids, sell our house, build a new one, and take advantage of every second I can because there are too many days where I can't get out of bed.
It may mean that I have to take a 2 hour nap after the hike, or I may have to pace myself with activities and rest a whole lot more but it's worth it.
I had the PFO heart closure procedure done a few weeks ago. Everything went so well. And recovery has been better than I thought. My heart rate which was hanging out in the low 50's is now up in the 70's.  The docs said to give it 6 weeks to totally heal and then 6 months to be totally covered with scar tissue and essentially seal the hole. The only down side has been having to take plavix and aspirin so I look like a bruised banana. I tried to go off the headache preventative medication and started having the intense nonstop migraines again. So I went back on it for now.
I am waiting to hear back from my headache specialist because they found cysts all down my spinal column. He thinks that my spinal fluid is leaking into those cysts causing the pressure on the spinal fluid to be low thus causing my brain to sag into my spinal column. There is a procedure called a blood patch that is pretty painful but could fix the leak. I'm waiting to see when that gets scheduled. This could be a big part of the migraines...I've said that before right?
As always there is no easy answer for any of this.  So I'm taking it a day at a time. A dear friend of mine gave me such  an encouraging gift recently.  It said "God is within her she shall not be moved."  The idea being God is in our midst in the middle of whatever circumstance.  He is not some
vague  onlooker, but instead there enduring it with us. In the midst of debilitating pain he is there, in all our joy, he is there caring for us, comforting us. Despite the pain of this world He has us in his grasp. I found comfort in being reminded of that. And while these circumstances have threatened to make me crumble I have not been crushed.
Let's be honest, Most days I could use a major attitude adjustment. I am so thankful for my husband who jokes and laughs and makes things lighthearted even when it's terrible. He has been a constant support and partner through all of this. Never giving up on me and never letting me give up either.  He has been steadfast in caring for me and our children. He has been patient beyond belief. While all of this has been so taxing on our whole family I have found that it hasn't driven a wedge where there could easily be one. We have wethered our fair share of storms and this is just one more that we will make it through together one step at a time.
So here's to living, and camping, and playing, and not taking sweet moments forgranted. 

Third time is a charm

I have a huge amount of anxiety going to Houston this time. I keep trying to identify why, and I think it is because I am hoping that this procedure is a solution to all or at least some of my symptoms. Here is why I decided to go ahead and get the procedure done to close the PFO.

The theory is that tiny micro embolisms are going through my PFO (hole in the upper chambers of my heart) and going straight up to my brain. This is possibly the cause of the migraines, dizziness, vertigo, blurred vision etc. It feels eerily similar to a TIA or small stroke for whatever reason, just one on top of another at times. There are also doctors who have said that serotonin is usually broken down and processed out of your blood when it goes the right way through your lungs. But because my blood is not doing that correctly and going through the hole to the wrong side there is too much serotonin getting through to the brain which also causes it to go haywire, thus intractable migraines. Unfortunately there are lesions in my brain which show the impact of the migraines as well. 

The latest combo of drugs is helping a lot. I was able to participate in my brothers wedding, travel with my family, walk longer distances, help out at tball practice and so on. All of this feels like a huge win because before this I was pretty much bedridden. These medications are specifically targeting the issues with the PFO which is why I think they are working. One medication is working to make the blood less sticky this dissolving a lot of those micro embolisms. The other is working to block the serotonin receptors so that all that serotonin is not being absorbed. The third is a GI med that is helping to heal the lesions in my stomach. Diet and exercise have been paramount in helping me to function better. Even a trace of gluten and I have a migraine for days. Interesting how the brain and gut are so connected. I think it has something to do with minimizing inflammation in the body. But that's just my theory. So I try to keep from being "glutened" as my friend Sara calls it and it makes a huge difference. My diet is a bit crazy at the moment and I am still figuring it all out. 

The other piece to this puzzle is the POTS diagnosis. And this one has been puzzling. I tested positive for PoTs after a tilt table test. I bet you are wondering what the heck is POTS sounds like some sort of random diagnosis. Postural orthostatic tacicardia syndrome is an issue with the autonomic nervous system. This system controls all sorts of things in your body like....sweating, heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, pupils, digestion, body temperature regulation. 

There is no cure for POTS and it seems to still be fairly new in the medical field. 

It basically means that when I am sitting or laying down my blood pools in my legs or pelvis. When I stand my heart starts racing trying to work super hard to pull that blood up so I don't pass out. The problem is my heart is working too hard. So they put me on a beta blocker which opens up all the veins and arteries and slows down my heart. Once I started on a beta blocker to help slow down my heart I noticed a huge improvement in my energy and the vertigo lessened significantly. Thank the Lord for relief from the vertigo.  Since there isn't a cure for POTS I have to be super aware of how much I water I am drinking and I take salt pills. I also have to exercise even when my heart is crazy all over the place. All these things help to alleviate the intensity of POTs. I am thankful I have not been one of the people who passes out from POTS but it is very common. I stumble a lot and feel close to passing out but I haven't yet. 

So the question is will this heart repair help to alleviate the symptoms of POTS?  The doctors say the two aren't connected. But who knows. 

Maybe if we plug the leak my heart will be more efficient and won't have to work so hard. 

I have been waking up daily with the most blinding throbbing migraine. Once I am up and moving it lessens but every day I have to press through the pain and start the day regardless. One foot in front of the other. 

So here we go. Back to Houston for a third time to close the PFO. In an attempt to lessen or stop all those bad things from getting through the hole and to the brain. Eventually getting me off some of these medications. We are hoping beyond hope that this procedure goes smoothly, with no complications, and on the other side of it that there is some improvement. Even if there is no change by getting the procedure done I significantly reduce my risk of stroke. Win win. 

People ask me a lot how I am doing. I usually shrug and smile and say ok. But the truth is I am thankful to be able to be out and about more. I am excited to have been able to drive for the first time in months. I am relieved to have had a break from the vertigo. I am grateful to know what to feed my body to help it to be the strongest it can be.  This has all been such a crazy journey and there are certainly days when I am so fricken pissed at the weakness and frailty I feel. But if any of you know me you know I am one stubborn lady and as long as there is something left for me to do to try to improve I will keep fighting and working towards that. 

So here we go...I'll see ya on the other side.