Scary!

Well we had a little bit of a preterm labor scare that started on Thursday. I went to lunch with some of my girlies from college and had a great time. When I got home I felt really tired and laid down on the couch to talk to Jeremy. I started having contractions at 3:23 but they were like 20 minutes apart. We called the doctor because something just didn't feel right about it and we didn't want to wait until after the office closed. They told me to lay down drink 4 glasses of water wait and hour and they would call back. If they stopped great, if not I would need to go to the hospital. Well they didn't stop actually they got way worse. They were 2 minutes apart and intense. I started crying because I had just gotten to 26 weeks that day and it was just too soon for these babies to show up. We haven't even bought any diapers yet!! Jeremy loaded me up in the car and took me to the hospital. We went straight to labor and delivery and got hooked up to all the monitors. The babies did not like all those bands and monitors and would kick and push away from them every time. They were SUPER active (I think it was because they didn't like all the contractions either). The contractions got to one minute apart. They checked my cervix multiple times and felt that it wasn't changing enough to warrant staying in the hospital. They put me on some medication to take away some of the intensity of the contractions and sent me home. We got home at 12:30pm. The next day we saw our doctor and he checked my cervix again and saw that it was starting to funnel. He also said it had changed over a cm from two days ago at our last visit. He put me on another drug to try to stop the contractions completely and put me on restricted activity which means that I can get up to go the bathroom but that is it. I was instructed to lay on my left side until Tuesday. Thank goodness for Jeremy and my wonderful family! They kept me sane with movies, puzzles, food etc. We had another appointment yesterday and the contractions still had not stopped but they have lessened in intensity and they have not changed my cervix any more!! That was really good news! The doctor said that I am the size of a woman carrying one baby at full term right now and my uterus is reacting like it is at full term because it doesn't know there are 2 babies in there!! Unfortunately, this means I can not travel at all now so we had to cancel my baby shower in the Springs that Dianna was going to host. We are combining it with the one in Denver my mom is hosting because I am allowed to go to that one if I take it really easy! I am allowed to get off the couch a little more now, sit up, do very limited things around the house (no dishes, cooking, laundry, exercise, grocery store, shopping, etc, etc) I will stand on my head for a week if it will make any difference! I just want these babies to keep cookin'! Right now our goal is to get to 30 weeks and then 32, then 34, etc... I had the most awesome ultrasound tech take some profiles of the babies and a funny one at the end! They are so cute and still doing great in there! Hold on tight James and Ellie it's not time to come out yet!

Our baby boy's profile with his arm up.


Baby Ellie's profile--she is always so much harder to get pictures of! The boy's little bottom!! How funny!!

Everyone has a story...

This is a long one...sorry

Everyone has a story…

Isn’t it true that everyone you meet has their own unique story? It’s what makes life so interesting when you are getting to know someone or when someone you have known for a long time shares deeper places with you. Each journey seems to be unique to that person with their own set of challenges and triumphs. Jeremy and I feel like we are embarking on a remarkable adventure right now-- getting the opportunity to be parents. But this part of our story, like so many others, did not come easy.

Many of you know this but Jeremy and I have struggled with infertility for three years. We were told in August this year, “You will never have children together.” I cannot sum up or even put into words the kind of pain that infertility inflicts on a couple. It is a deep, guttural, empty ache and if you are reading this and have had to endure infertility I am truly sorry (and I know that is not enough but I can at least understand a small piece of what you are feeling). I was looking back at some journaling from the time we were in the midst of our struggle…

“A guest speaker was talking about going through the deep waters of our lives. These are the seasons in life when things have crashed around you, you have hit the lowest low, the bottom of the barrel and then some. These moments are unable to be expressed with words because the words simply cannot express the pain and depth of feeling. He went on to say that when we have these moments and we feel like we are treading water, unable to move in any direction, terrified that at any moment our strength will go out and we will sink and be overcome, that is when God is most near to us, that is when He is carrying our weight.”

I wrote… It sounds a little like a hallmark card but when I think about the deep waters that I have experienced in my life and how they have changed me I can say that in those darkest moments I never once questioned the presence of God in my life. He has been my constant comforter. I can feel his sadness over what I have to go through, I can feel his broken heart as he watches me grieve, and his absolute acceptance of me regardless of how dark my life has become, and how much I have lost hope. I believe that even when I have lost all hope in myself, he still has hope for me.

A book I just read called Angry Conversations with God talked about the dark places as well. “A sixteenth century monk wrote a treatise called Dark Night of the Soul. When we first know God, he lavishes us with blessings and signs of his love, the way you do with your children when they’re small. But God wants us to grow up. So he removes his blessings. The sense of his presence. And even signs of love. Because he wants us to trust what we can’t see, to believe we’re loved even if we can’t feel it, to walk by faith and not by sight. And maybe he wants me to love him for himself, not for what I can get out of him. Well, if that’s where I am, then okay. I can be here. I’m in my own Dark Night of the Soul. And I’m just waiting for my sun to come up.”

I can completely relate to this as well. There have been many times in this process and in life where I feel like I am waiting for the sun to come up. Learning to love and trust God in the midst of life crashing down around me has been a process. Believing that God has a plan for me, he knows the desires of my heart, and even though his answer is sometimes “No or Not Now,” he is still good and his love is never failing.

During our journey with infertility we tried to adopt but one agency rejected us because of my medical history of having cancer. Other adoption agencies had closed doors at the time we were looking. Most infertility treatments were not an option because of our circumstances and the ones that were available were not what we wanted or we worried that my body couldn’t handle the stress of it all.

Through many different events, doctors, tests, and closed doors we were told by one doctor that the only thing we could try if we wanted to have ‘natural’ children was Invitro (this previously hadn’t even been an option because of our circumstances). Invitro is not covered by insurance, is very invasive for the woman, involves a lot of and a very strict regiment of drugs, and the place we found had a 70% success rate—which they make very clear in the beginning it doesn’t always work. Not to mention the moral and ethical views about invitro. But again God was faithful; he provided a way even though it was going to take some major sacrifices and steps of faith.

And here we are…almost 26 weeks pregnant with twin babies, a boy and a girl. As the guy at the pedicure place said “Oh, you so lucky!” Yes—I can’t express how truly thankful we are for this gift. It seems to me that it was meant to be…God knew all along the babies that he had for us. And in the midst of the struggles that Jeremy and I have been through I can tell you that we have found a deeper and more profound love and commitment for each other.

We wanted to share these pieces of our story so you could get a glimpse of why we chose the names we did. So the names of our babies are:

Baby Girl--Elliana Rae Slaughter

Elliana is Hebrew it means “my God has answered me.” Rae is English meaning “doe.” We are going to call her Ellie or Ellie Rae as a nickname. The other cool thing about her name is that her first and middle name have a letter that corresponds to a letter in our moms, sisters, and grandmas names--Elnora, Mary, Dorothy, Arleen, Sherilyn, Dianna, Shanna, Sarah. Elliana Rae will have a little piece of each of them in her name. What a tribute to all of the wonderful women who have poured into our lives.

Baby Boy--James Mark Slaughter

This name we chose more for the men who have impacted our lives in a substantial way, our dads. James Reid—is Jeremy’s dad, James is a family name. Mark—is my dad. We wanted to choose a strong name for our baby boy, the books of James and Mark in the bible are some of our favorites­­­ as well—there are profound truths in each and each points back to Jesus. James is Hebrew and means one who supplants, Mark means warlike. So to sum up his name he is a supplanting, warlike, slaughterer—reminds me of Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

So there they are James and Ellie. Please keep them in your prayers as we take one day at a time. Our prayer is for their health and growth and that my body would allow me to carry them for as long as I can. Thanks for taking the time to read this…I know it’s a long one.

Sarah's graduation

My sweet little sister Sarah graduated high school last week!! She was a speaker for the graduation and did an awesome job! She has had just a great year this year and now she will be off to Johnson and Whales in the fall to pursue her dreams of becoming a master chef.

This is Sarah and her wonderful boyfriend Luke. He is a great kid!

Sarah had a really fun graduation party over memorial day weekend. I am at 21 weeks in these pictures.
Mom and Dad put on quite the party! The food was amazing and told the story of Sarah's culinary experiences this far.






Sarah and Caitlyn




Grandmommy, Auntie Gay, and Uncle Chris came up for the party too. It was so great to catch up with them.

Eva was admiring Grandmommy's beautiful necklaces.

Shanna and Dave being nerds :)

Oh baby!

Well we are at 20 weeks now!! I can't believe how fast the time seems to be going! Twins are considered full term at 37 or 38 weeks so that means at the max I only have 18 weeks left!!! YIKES! My nesting instincts have fully overtaken my body. With the help of my fabulous mom and sis I found curtains, a rug, a lamp, and a great pillow (for the rocking chair) for the babies room. It is really starting to look adorable. My grandma is going to paint a canvas for us that is going to look so amazing in the nursery! Our ultrasound looked good but both the babies heads are down and OH MY GOODNESS the pressure! We also had our marvelous multiples class on Sunday and it revealed just how in over our heads we really are!! We couldn't be happier :)
I was so excited about this next project! Jeremy tore out a section of our grass and rototilled it all up and we planted a vegetable garden!!! It's got tomatoes, green beans, carrots, cucumbers, zucchinis, and a bunch of different peppers and jalapenos! We are also growing some herbs in planter boxes that Jeremy made to hang from our deck. Fresh salsa here we come!

Happy Mother's Day

We celebrated mother's day with Jeremy's mom in the springs on Saturday. We had a great time seeing a movie and going to a yummy dinner!
Today we went to church and then had a picnic at the park.
I am at 18 weeks and growing right along.


Eva and Pop Pop were trying to fly a kite. She loved it!!
Mia was learning to blow dandelions. She kept making the funniest faces!
Jer and the fam were playing catch and Frisbee. Then they all had a croquet match.
Dave and Eva were trying to get the kite to fly.
Shanna with her girls. Looking at dandelions.
Me and my sisters.
All the girls!
Grammy and Mia
Pop Pop and Mia.
We had a fun time playing in the nice weather!! Only 4 more weeks of school!!